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Hawaiian wedding guide
Who Does What at a wedding

The bride…

* chooses her attendants
* chooses her own dress and consults with her bridesmaids about theirs
* throws her bouquet on leaving the reception

The groom…

* chooses his wedding attire
* appoints his best man and ushers
* makes a speech at the reception in reply to the bride’s father, ending with a toast to the bridesmaids.
* plans and arranges the honeymoon (sometimes secretly)

The bride’s mother…

* organizes reception arrangements
* is on hand to advise her daughter
* wears a distinguishing flower spray

The bride’s father…

* travels with the bride to the church, escorts her up the aisle, and gives her away
* escorts the groom’s mother in the recession
* makes the first speech at the reception
* manages arrangements behind the scenes and pays for the wedding
* wears formal wear that coordinates with the groom

The groom’s parents…

* the groom’s mother provides advice for her son if asked
* the groom’s mother wears a distinguishing flower spray
* the groom’s father wears formal wear that coordinates with the groom

The best man…

* needs to check regularly with the bride’s family to keep himself informed of the wedding arrangements
* organises the stag night and afterwards ensures that the groom gets home safely
* informs the ushers of their duties
* looks after the groom on the morning of his wedding day
* checks that the ushers have the buttonholes and also copies of the Order of Service
* makes sure that the groom arrives at the church or civil venue in good time
* ensures that all fees have been paid before the ceremony
* looks after the wedding rings and hands them to the minister or groom at the correct moment in the ceremony
* escorts the chief bridesmaid in the recession
* helps guests without transport to get to the reception, asking ushers to assist if necessary
* introduces the speeches and the cutting of the cake and makes other announcements if there is no toastmaster
* makes a speech in reply to the groom’s toast to the bridesmaids, and reads out cards, faxes and email messages
* makes sure that the groom has everything he needs for going away and returns hired formal wear

The chief bridesmaid…

* helps the bride to get dressed and ready for her wedding, soothing any apparent nerves
* organizes the other bridesmaids
* waits outside the church or civil venue for the bride to arrive and looks after younger attendants
* ensures that the bride’s veil and train are in place before the procession
* takes the bride’s bouquet when she reaches the top of the aisle and returns it to her at the end of the ceremony
* partners the best man in the recession
* looks after the wedding dress once the bride has changed into her going-away outfit

The ushers…

* arrive first at the church
* greet the guests as they arrive and hand out copies of the Order of Service
* direct guests to pews on the appropriate side of the altar; the bride’s family and friends on the left, the groom’s on the right
* give the two mothers their flower sprays and a buttonhole to the groom’s father
* escort the bride’s mother and the groom’s parents to their seats. This honour is usually performed by the chief usher. The arrival of the bride’s mother signals that the bride is on her way
* close the church door after the bride has arrived and open it again during the recession
* arrange for one usher to go to the reception venue to direct the parking
* assist the best man in ensuring that all the guests have transport to the reception

Other roles

The toastmaster…

* announces the names of guests as they approach the receiving line
* asks for silence for the minister to say grace before the meal
* introduces the speeches from those that will make a toast
* announces the cutting of the cake
* calls for the first dance

 

Matron of Honour

A Matron of Honour can be chosen as one of the bride’s attendants. She is a married woman and often an older sister of the bride.

Witnesses

Signing the register requires two legal witnesses to act as signatories. Witnesses are often the best man, bridesmaids, or the bride and groom’s parents.

Ring-bearer

Traditionally dressed in white, the ring-bearer is often a small boy who walks ahead of the bride, carrying a cushion on to which the ring(s) are tied or loosely sewn.

Pageboy

As one of the bride’s attendants, the pageboy often wears a traditional outfit that includes pantaloon trousers fastened below the calf with ribbons or buttons.

Flower girl

Traditionally dressed in white, the flower girl walks ahead of the bride and groom in the recession scattering flower petals, whole flowers or confetti at the church door and just outside the church. Check in advance to see if your church has any rules governing the use of petals or confetti.

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